Didn't know it was time to say goodbye Didn't know it was deep till i start to cry If it's true why must wonder why Must be true cuz it makes me fly so high...

The rock

That rock by the sea just stood there With each passing tide eroded That rock by the sea just stood there that rock by the sea gone forever

I never fit into the mold That odd piece of puzzle The tall one in the picture The only girl in class I took the road well travelled Yet arrived at a different destination I seemed like a lost butterfly But I feel at home wherever I stood I glorify my personal preference Not affected by my peers Rely heavily on traditions But I'm known to break barriers Thrown into the ocean Struggling to stay in rivers I swim against the flow Floating among the divers

Tribute to MH17 & MH 307

For it is never lost For it is never gone A black ribbon does not seal a fate A half raised flag can still mean hope A sincere prayer is never ignored A mourning displays affection We are the kite In the sky we love The soaring kite Flying above Bringing with us Our beautiful culture Connecting the world Introducing our nature Against the odds We strive through our mission Believing in God, Skills, and determination. To our missing sisters, Whom we lost but are not forgotten, One in hiding but we're still seeking, Both currently not in sight But neither are gone from our minds. For nothing is gone Until it's forgotten Alive in our hearts You will be remembered

Can't you see this picture? This picture that I'm painting? So loud and vivid now With all the colours I'm using, Come and look at my drawing Not just the strokes I'm making If all you see is blue, Is it the sky or the sea? When all you see is green, It's impossible to see the tree, If all you see is red, It's hard to smell the flowers, When all you see is black, You won't catch the running horses. So please take a step back, Stop looking oh too closely, And maybe you can see This beautiful simple scenery And finally understand, The meaning of my story. -Maha.

Maha the Gardener

So, i've tried my hands at gardening recently. i don't know how long this will last but i'm hoping that it will stay. i get a sense of joy looking at my flowers bloom, the fishes swimming about and everything else well manicured. we usually have a gardener who comes every other week to maintain the garden but somehow he lacks imagination. i can't blame him though. we have a fairly small garden and growing up we had all sorts of plants and trees. and honestly, none of us are the kind who puts 'gardening' in their list of hobbies. both Nadia and Alia did it for a while but had to abandon it due to the amount of time and energy required. so i guess, it is now my turn. will it be a thriving hobby or just another thing i check off my 'things to do before i die' list? only time will tell. I am starting with a few pots of roses to start my Rose Garden. I have always been in love with Roses. The rose is my flower. It is my favourite flower of all time and it being my birth flower is a magical coincidence that i bring up everytime i get into an argument with my sister (whenever we argue about who love Roses best -we're stupid like that). So at the moment, i have 2 types of Roses, the innocent pink blooms and the gorgeous reds ones. i got the pink ones from my grandmother who has the most sweet smelling roses in the whole of Malaysia -imho. hopeflly mine will smell just as sweet. the sexy red ones were bought from a local orchard. they caught my eyes the moment i step out of my car and i knew i was going to make them mine. HAAHA!

Single Muslim Female

In many ways, the reason of my relationship status is by my own choice. So sometimes I don't get why people feel sorry for me.

Yes it is lonely at times but I would rather be lonely knowing that I'm alone rather than lonely while having someone beside me. For I have experienced both and the latter is worse. 

The same goes to people who think I am too choosey for my own good. I do get that a lot from people saying, "the reason you're single is because you are too choosey".  I wonder how they got to that conclusion but I won't go so far as to say that they are completely wrong. Yes, I am rather selective when it comes to choosing my partner particularly one who might as well be my future husband. But shouldn't we all be? If you take marriage as seriously as I do, shouldn't you at least consider if the man in question is compatible enough for you? 

There was a time when I was certain that I wanted to marry the first man who asked for my hand. Because I thought that was how life was intended to be. Finish my education and  my parents would arrange someone for me to marry and I'll live happily ever after. 

But as years go by, you realise that not all men appreciate marriage the way I was taught to believe. If it was somehow guaranteed that the man I marry would stick with me through thick and thin and be responsible for all my life, then I would revert back to my innocent idea of marriage.

But there's no guarantee right? 

When I was growing up, i thought marriage is the epitome of happiness. Every love story regardless of how boring the storyline is will end in marriage. Or rather, marriage is the start of a wonderful beautiful journey between 2 people. That's not always true of course because sometimes they argue and they fight but somehow they'll work it out. Because being married is more important than being right. Because when 2 people get married, their mission and vision become one. There is no way out of marriage. You just work it out. 

But then as I grow older, I realise that not everyone gets a happy ending with marriage. Some people start their suffering the moment they say "I do" while others might find their happiness fade along the way.

And for that reason, I grow weary of marriage. I am fearful. I leave it to God as everyone else. But I no longer rush myself towards marriage or be worried as to why I am not married. For I believe that everything is as God has intend it to be and I should not be concern of things that are beyond my means. 

While I do wish that one day I shall have someone to share my life with and care for and be in love with, at the moment I shall busy myself with loving those who are already with me in my life. And i have come to accept that no matter how 'perfect' you make yourself to be, married life isn't promised to everyone. Some couples are made in heaven, and maybe some partners wait for us there. There many other more accomplished and prepared women i know out there who are not married and i think nothing less of them compared to the ones who are. And honestly, they don't make me feel so bad about my life. So it's alright. Let God do His thing and let us do what we are made to do. In the mean time, i'll just enjoy this life i have been blessed with.