Goal: Healthier Lifestyle.

Working out. Let's be honest. I don't mind losing a few kilos. In fact, i won't be lying is i say my sole purpose of working was to lose weight. WAS. When i turned 30 last June, i felt like my health was at my worst. I thought that age was catching up and my lifestyle was very unhealthy. So i promised myself to take care of us a little better. Took me almost 6 months to make good on my promise. Since i've been exercising regularly, i find that my body feels much lighter. I am more energetic and best of all, i don't wake up feeling sluggish. I try to drink more plain room temperature water than i used to and i can say it has worked wonders for me. Eating healthily is more difficult for me. Those who know me know i love everything sweet, fried and creamy. I'm still struggling with saying no to those foods but i try not to give in too much. I hope to bring this habit with me next year and the years to come. Because i'm really loving this healthier new me. Alhamdulillah

PT3. Say what....?

Congratulations are in order for those who did well for their PT3. I'm sure you have worked very hard to score those As and i sincerely wish you all the best for your future endeavours. However, i must convey my heartfelt condolences to the students of Malaysia. It seems like they are on yet another experimental educational journey headed by the captain of the moment. I’ve been there and gone through all that. Honestly, i don't see the reason why our politicians need to jeopardise the future of our junior citizens with their trial-and-error ways with our education system. Stop looking at our students as children. Look at them as the future; the future of Malaysia. They are not pawns to make your political crotch look bigger. They are the ones who will keep Malaysia “Malaysia”. They are the ones you will be leaving your legacy to. I'll just be frank. At the moment, in my opinion, our education system sucks big time and it's no secret. I can’t blame the ‘herd’ of students.I blame the system. The education system in Malaysia is so fickle that even our politicians opt for private schools for their own children (or to simply send them overseas). I supposed after securing the education of their own off-springs, they are free to experiment with whoever is left behind. I remember a talk i had with a certain "somebody" when i was away. He advised us (off the record, of course) to never come back -for our own sakes. Mind you, this came from a man who just moments ago gave a ‘heartfelt’ speech telling us to come back and share our experience and expertise back home. Yes, this took place when the government was campaigning for our foreign experts to come back. So i guess it's safe to say that whatever doubt i had for our education system was pretty much confirmed. My take on this matter? Stop experimenting! We are obviously not ready to device our own system –not yet. Adopt from those with established and recognized institutions like Japan, Britain or Singapore. If you're scared of losing our identity and culture, make sure cultural education is made compulsory to learn and to pass. We lose one boasting right but we gain better or higher quality education. Unlike now, where you keep changing and messing up the blueprint and you complain about the quality of our graduates.

What is a day? You can see it as 24 hours. Or you can be philosophical. A day is a chance. A day is a gift. Ever noticed how some days are longer than the rest? While some days seems to end so soon? You think you control the hours. You think you have it all planned out. You think as long as you are prepared, 'life goes on', and the at the end of the day, the sun will set and you prepare for another day. You start everyday looking at the bigger picture while ignoring the little details that define the picture. You condemn the way the leaders run the country yet you're guilty of the same crime with your own family. You spend your time working to make a better future for your family but you fail to outline the kind of future you hope they will have. Have we been building our own destruction? Have we been seeding the wrong plant? A seed is a seed. If we plant the seed of an orange, it can not grow into an apple tree. No matter what manure you use and how often you water the plant. But you can try to control the outcome. You can work hard to make sure your tree bears fruits instead of growing to be a barren tree. Sometimes you anticipate your tomorrows without realising how today will end. You forget yesterdays like you'll never see it again. What if today you set before the sun? What if tomorrow you never rise again? Has your yesterdays prepared you for what to come? Have you done enough to sustain whatever you're leaving behind? I haven't. God knows I'm not prepared. My travelled road is full of pot holes. The path before me is so unclear. I am hopeful that I will do enough in the future to save me from my doom. I am investing everything I have to score in my future. For I realise that my past has been so revolting. But the thought of exiting before my time scares me so much that I tend to not think about it. Ignorance is bliss, right? But how can I feign ignorance when I are enlightened? How can I unread what I have learned? So 24 hours. Have I planted the right seed to climb to heaven? Have I done enough to reserve a safe haven? Or am I digging deeper into hellfire? With so many informations being spread around, how do you know you're getting the right one? For that i pray for His mercy.

It is not a weakness to fall in love. I see it as strength. Weakness is the need to control for without that control, you are vulnerable and insecure. To love is to be willing to sacrifice a part of you for something or someone else. A part of you meaning time, energy or even thoughts. To add an additional and unnecessary emotions to oneself. You are perfectly able to live on your own. Replacing needs with the existence of pets, people and creativity. But to fill that gap with a person takes deep courage. To let yourself choose another person is risky. I'm a coward. I have been disappointed before. And am very reluctant to experience another relationship. To be vulnerable to another promise. To gamble another future. But maybe, it's time to be a bit more brave.

Congregational

Congregational Prayers. Solat ajjamaah. As Muslims we are asked to pray 5 times a day. If you combine them all together it could take less than 30 minutes. Like Yoga, just faster and easier. The act itself is easy; IF you take laziness, tiredness, time and discipline OUT of the equation. But you're human. You're bound to feel the pressure of at least one if the things mentioned above. Well at least i do. I feel the pressure. Some days more than the others. Some days performing prayers are so hard. There are things need to be done, or i have been so physically mentally and emotionally tired that i FEEL the burden of prayers. Yet there are days when all i want to do is to be in my wudu' and do a marathon of prayers. Well, that's the chapter of imān and that's for a different time. Anyway, during those lazy period, i am glad for solat ajjamaah/congregational prayers. Praying together forces me to keep my prayers on track. My parents impose certain solat ajjamaah on us at home . Growing up, i used to hate it so much. Because my father would take his time reading each surah and ayah when i know he can read them at a faster speed -i sometimes observe him praying on his own. Then of course, the lengthy duas afterwards. If i pray on my own, after the last salam, i would stand up and recite my duas WHILE folding the prayer mats and taking off my attire. But as i grow older, i tend to appreciate it very much. Mainly for 3 things. 1. I realize that my surah recitation is heavily influenced by my father -though not nearly as good. 2. My mother pinpoints my mistakes in my salah rituals -like she does everything else. 3. It's 27 times better than doing it alone. My parents impose the congregational prayers at home to lead by example. Though the school taught us how to pray and what to read, seeing my parents performing prayers together gave me a deeper understanding of the matter. Most of my friends nowadays are now married with babies. I don't mean to sound preachy but i implore that you too impose salah aljamaah at home. Even if it's just once a day. Or once a week. It'll be good in the long run. For you, your children and the society. I promise you, it won't be easy. But it will be worth it. InshaAllah.

Didn't know it was time to say goodbye Didn't know it was deep till i start to cry If it's true why must wonder why Must be true cuz it makes me fly so high...

The rock

That rock by the sea just stood there With each passing tide eroded That rock by the sea just stood there that rock by the sea gone forever

I never fit into the mold That odd piece of puzzle The tall one in the picture The only girl in class I took the road well travelled Yet arrived at a different destination I seemed like a lost butterfly But I feel at home wherever I stood I glorify my personal preference Not affected by my peers Rely heavily on traditions But I'm known to break barriers Thrown into the ocean Struggling to stay in rivers I swim against the flow Floating among the divers

Tribute to MH17 & MH 307

For it is never lost For it is never gone A black ribbon does not seal a fate A half raised flag can still mean hope A sincere prayer is never ignored A mourning displays affection We are the kite In the sky we love The soaring kite Flying above Bringing with us Our beautiful culture Connecting the world Introducing our nature Against the odds We strive through our mission Believing in God, Skills, and determination. To our missing sisters, Whom we lost but are not forgotten, One in hiding but we're still seeking, Both currently not in sight But neither are gone from our minds. For nothing is gone Until it's forgotten Alive in our hearts You will be remembered

Can't you see this picture? This picture that I'm painting? So loud and vivid now With all the colours I'm using, Come and look at my drawing Not just the strokes I'm making If all you see is blue, Is it the sky or the sea? When all you see is green, It's impossible to see the tree, If all you see is red, It's hard to smell the flowers, When all you see is black, You won't catch the running horses. So please take a step back, Stop looking oh too closely, And maybe you can see This beautiful simple scenery And finally understand, The meaning of my story. -Maha.

Maha the Gardener

So, i've tried my hands at gardening recently. i don't know how long this will last but i'm hoping that it will stay. i get a sense of joy looking at my flowers bloom, the fishes swimming about and everything else well manicured. we usually have a gardener who comes every other week to maintain the garden but somehow he lacks imagination. i can't blame him though. we have a fairly small garden and growing up we had all sorts of plants and trees. and honestly, none of us are the kind who puts 'gardening' in their list of hobbies. both Nadia and Alia did it for a while but had to abandon it due to the amount of time and energy required. so i guess, it is now my turn. will it be a thriving hobby or just another thing i check off my 'things to do before i die' list? only time will tell. I am starting with a few pots of roses to start my Rose Garden. I have always been in love with Roses. The rose is my flower. It is my favourite flower of all time and it being my birth flower is a magical coincidence that i bring up everytime i get into an argument with my sister (whenever we argue about who love Roses best -we're stupid like that). So at the moment, i have 2 types of Roses, the innocent pink blooms and the gorgeous reds ones. i got the pink ones from my grandmother who has the most sweet smelling roses in the whole of Malaysia -imho. hopeflly mine will smell just as sweet. the sexy red ones were bought from a local orchard. they caught my eyes the moment i step out of my car and i knew i was going to make them mine. HAAHA!

Single Muslim Female

In many ways, the reason of my relationship status is by my own choice. So sometimes I don't get why people feel sorry for me.

Yes it is lonely at times but I would rather be lonely knowing that I'm alone rather than lonely while having someone beside me. For I have experienced both and the latter is worse. 

The same goes to people who think I am too choosey for my own good. I do get that a lot from people saying, "the reason you're single is because you are too choosey".  I wonder how they got to that conclusion but I won't go so far as to say that they are completely wrong. Yes, I am rather selective when it comes to choosing my partner particularly one who might as well be my future husband. But shouldn't we all be? If you take marriage as seriously as I do, shouldn't you at least consider if the man in question is compatible enough for you? 

There was a time when I was certain that I wanted to marry the first man who asked for my hand. Because I thought that was how life was intended to be. Finish my education and  my parents would arrange someone for me to marry and I'll live happily ever after. 

But as years go by, you realise that not all men appreciate marriage the way I was taught to believe. If it was somehow guaranteed that the man I marry would stick with me through thick and thin and be responsible for all my life, then I would revert back to my innocent idea of marriage.

But there's no guarantee right? 

When I was growing up, i thought marriage is the epitome of happiness. Every love story regardless of how boring the storyline is will end in marriage. Or rather, marriage is the start of a wonderful beautiful journey between 2 people. That's not always true of course because sometimes they argue and they fight but somehow they'll work it out. Because being married is more important than being right. Because when 2 people get married, their mission and vision become one. There is no way out of marriage. You just work it out. 

But then as I grow older, I realise that not everyone gets a happy ending with marriage. Some people start their suffering the moment they say "I do" while others might find their happiness fade along the way.

And for that reason, I grow weary of marriage. I am fearful. I leave it to God as everyone else. But I no longer rush myself towards marriage or be worried as to why I am not married. For I believe that everything is as God has intend it to be and I should not be concern of things that are beyond my means. 

While I do wish that one day I shall have someone to share my life with and care for and be in love with, at the moment I shall busy myself with loving those who are already with me in my life. And i have come to accept that no matter how 'perfect' you make yourself to be, married life isn't promised to everyone. Some couples are made in heaven, and maybe some partners wait for us there. There many other more accomplished and prepared women i know out there who are not married and i think nothing less of them compared to the ones who are. And honestly, they don't make me feel so bad about my life. So it's alright. Let God do His thing and let us do what we are made to do. In the mean time, i'll just enjoy this life i have been blessed with. 

Jack Porter

Revenge is another series i've grown obsessed with these couple of months. Emily's vendetta against the Graysons are relatable, and Nolan is Ross is so interesting to watch. Like i said just now, i love almost everything about the show. ALMOST! it would have been perfect if it wasn't for JACK PORTER. i don't remember ever hating a good guy's character so much! and the thing i hate the most about him is how they're selling him like he's the tragic hero in all these drama. which to me, is bull because he clearly signed up for this. in the first two seasons, we were fed with his undying/pure love he supposedly has for Amanda Clarke. Claiming over and over again how he would still love her no matter who she has become or bla bla bla. yet at the same time, he was harbouring feelings for "Miss Emily Thorne". i understand that he feels betrayed but in my opinion, he put himself in this mess. He is in love with a girl he barely knew. He knows he is up against the Graysons. By now, he SHOULD know that they are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of his league. I'm serious. The writers shpuld just kill him off already. Stop trying to make him relevant because he's not and he'll never be. Him dead would serve better to the story line than him being alive wirh his holier than thou attitude butting his nose into people's business. Yes, i hate him that much.