Maha the Gardener

So, i've tried my hands at gardening recently. i don't know how long this will last but i'm hoping that it will stay. i get a sense of joy looking at my flowers bloom, the fishes swimming about and everything else well manicured. we usually have a gardener who comes every other week to maintain the garden but somehow he lacks imagination. i can't blame him though. we have a fairly small garden and growing up we had all sorts of plants and trees. and honestly, none of us are the kind who puts 'gardening' in their list of hobbies. both Nadia and Alia did it for a while but had to abandon it due to the amount of time and energy required. so i guess, it is now my turn. will it be a thriving hobby or just another thing i check off my 'things to do before i die' list? only time will tell. I am starting with a few pots of roses to start my Rose Garden. I have always been in love with Roses. The rose is my flower. It is my favourite flower of all time and it being my birth flower is a magical coincidence that i bring up everytime i get into an argument with my sister (whenever we argue about who love Roses best -we're stupid like that). So at the moment, i have 2 types of Roses, the innocent pink blooms and the gorgeous reds ones. i got the pink ones from my grandmother who has the most sweet smelling roses in the whole of Malaysia -imho. hopeflly mine will smell just as sweet. the sexy red ones were bought from a local orchard. they caught my eyes the moment i step out of my car and i knew i was going to make them mine. HAAHA!

Single Muslim Female

In many ways, the reason of my relationship status is by my own choice. So sometimes I don't get why people feel sorry for me.

Yes it is lonely at times but I would rather be lonely knowing that I'm alone rather than lonely while having someone beside me. For I have experienced both and the latter is worse. 

The same goes to people who think I am too choosey for my own good. I do get that a lot from people saying, "the reason you're single is because you are too choosey".  I wonder how they got to that conclusion but I won't go so far as to say that they are completely wrong. Yes, I am rather selective when it comes to choosing my partner particularly one who might as well be my future husband. But shouldn't we all be? If you take marriage as seriously as I do, shouldn't you at least consider if the man in question is compatible enough for you? 

There was a time when I was certain that I wanted to marry the first man who asked for my hand. Because I thought that was how life was intended to be. Finish my education and  my parents would arrange someone for me to marry and I'll live happily ever after. 

But as years go by, you realise that not all men appreciate marriage the way I was taught to believe. If it was somehow guaranteed that the man I marry would stick with me through thick and thin and be responsible for all my life, then I would revert back to my innocent idea of marriage.

But there's no guarantee right? 

When I was growing up, i thought marriage is the epitome of happiness. Every love story regardless of how boring the storyline is will end in marriage. Or rather, marriage is the start of a wonderful beautiful journey between 2 people. That's not always true of course because sometimes they argue and they fight but somehow they'll work it out. Because being married is more important than being right. Because when 2 people get married, their mission and vision become one. There is no way out of marriage. You just work it out. 

But then as I grow older, I realise that not everyone gets a happy ending with marriage. Some people start their suffering the moment they say "I do" while others might find their happiness fade along the way.

And for that reason, I grow weary of marriage. I am fearful. I leave it to God as everyone else. But I no longer rush myself towards marriage or be worried as to why I am not married. For I believe that everything is as God has intend it to be and I should not be concern of things that are beyond my means. 

While I do wish that one day I shall have someone to share my life with and care for and be in love with, at the moment I shall busy myself with loving those who are already with me in my life. And i have come to accept that no matter how 'perfect' you make yourself to be, married life isn't promised to everyone. Some couples are made in heaven, and maybe some partners wait for us there. There many other more accomplished and prepared women i know out there who are not married and i think nothing less of them compared to the ones who are. And honestly, they don't make me feel so bad about my life. So it's alright. Let God do His thing and let us do what we are made to do. In the mean time, i'll just enjoy this life i have been blessed with. 

Jack Porter

Revenge is another series i've grown obsessed with these couple of months. Emily's vendetta against the Graysons are relatable, and Nolan is Ross is so interesting to watch. Like i said just now, i love almost everything about the show. ALMOST! it would have been perfect if it wasn't for JACK PORTER. i don't remember ever hating a good guy's character so much! and the thing i hate the most about him is how they're selling him like he's the tragic hero in all these drama. which to me, is bull because he clearly signed up for this. in the first two seasons, we were fed with his undying/pure love he supposedly has for Amanda Clarke. Claiming over and over again how he would still love her no matter who she has become or bla bla bla. yet at the same time, he was harbouring feelings for "Miss Emily Thorne". i understand that he feels betrayed but in my opinion, he put himself in this mess. He is in love with a girl he barely knew. He knows he is up against the Graysons. By now, he SHOULD know that they are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of his league. I'm serious. The writers shpuld just kill him off already. Stop trying to make him relevant because he's not and he'll never be. Him dead would serve better to the story line than him being alive wirh his holier than thou attitude butting his nose into people's business. Yes, i hate him that much.